If everything around you indicated that you were a monster as a child, every failed relationship, every time other children excluded you, and every relationship breakdown, even the relationship you have with your parents, what kind of adult would you grow up to be? Ko Moon-young, she has an answer to that question. Antisocial and menacing, Ko Moon-young works as an author creating children's stories that reflect her inner pain, resonating with thousands as she tells the reality of the human struggle through her unhappy endings and gruesome illustrations.
But what happens when she meets the Prince Charming from her childhood— the one who was supposed to save her, the one that she pushed away? What happens when she decides that she is still "hungry" for some sort of human connection? What happens when she realizes that both of their pasts are more intertwined than she ever could have thought?
Moon Gang-tae never stays at the same hospital for more than a year. As a nurse in a psychiatric clinic, he is subject to abuse because of the nature of his job. He works with people who are difficult to deal with all day long, and the only way he can get through the day is if he suppresses his feelings deep inside himself. But when he takes the fall for the mishandling of a patient, he finds himself back in his hometown—where everything bad happened, where his life began to spiral out of control, and where his brother first began to say that the butterflies are going to kill him.
Artistry and Craft
This drama was well-made in the way it was shot and portrayed, from the actual technicalities to the clothing choices and environment it was shot in. One of the only downsides I found was that some of the humor was too sexually coded or even had outright sexual jokes, which made certain points of the drama an awkward viewing experience, although these moments are brief and do not take away from the series. There were some really interesting moments with provocative messages throughout this series that were displayed thematically through the way the drama was structured and organized. This structure and organization really shone when Ko Moon-young's children's stories were paralleled with different thematic moments, or when the stories of different characters in the drama were elevated because of the additional creative angle it was enhanced by.
Like I said, the K-drama implements the main character's storybooks into each episode. This also contributed to the way the audience explored Ko Moon-young's inner psyche. One of the first children's stories the viewer is introduced to is The Boy Who Fed on Nightmares, which sets the tone for the rest of the episodes in the series. It's about a boy who can't sleep at night because of all of the horrible memories he experiences. He promises a witch-like figure that he'll do whatever she wants of him if only she'll take away these bad dreams and memories. The witch agrees, and the boy soon becomes an adult—only to find himself still unhappy. One day, when the witch inevitably returns to call upon the bargain that they made, the boy asks her in incredulous anger, "You took away all of my bad memories, so why am I still unhappy?" The witch figure replied, "Hurtful, painful memories. Memories of deep regrets. Memories of hurting others and being hurt. Memories of being abandoned. Only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become stronger, more passionate, and emotionally flexible. And only those can attain happiness…"
This is interesting, as most dramas imply that having a good character or even if you are morally gray, if you do even one good thing, you have earned your redemption by being a good person. This drama breaks that illusion. This story acknowledges the reality of the complexity of the real stories of people, and whether or not you consider yourself to be a bad or good person, Christ didn't come for the truly good people, the people who are good at presenting themselves as good, or those who are openly bad and morally deviant rather, He came for a whole different category of people: those who were lost. Honestly, this is a reassurance when showing the extremes of perceived human goodness compared with characters who know they are messy and don't feel the need to hide; not only are both qualified to come to the foot of the cross, but both need to, because no matter how perfect or unconcerned you may appear, both are still lost.
I found the more gray female lead interesting compared to the pure, un-nuanced female leads that dramas usually portray. Some parts were challenging, but a lot were refreshing as the drama didn't hesitate to portray her darker characteristics, specifically with the portrayal of narcissistic personality disorder. The writers left the character's actual diagnosis vague, leaving room for understanding or labelling her condition only in association with other characters in the drama who are more violent and unfeeling, or to those who have completely different disorders like autism. I think the writers unintentionally romanticized the character's struggles, but also left room for interpretation and gave room to explore the narcissistic character's grandiosity. It was definitely an interesting take on the couple's dynamics, as usually in K-dramas where there are two opposing dynamics, the female is the more "moral" one who is also kinder, and the male counterpart is the more reckless nature that is less empathetic and colder. This also includes having an obsession with the female lead that sometimes crosses the line into limerence, which in any other setting, including real life with someone who has borderline narcissistic personality disorder and limerence, would be horrifying. The way they inverted that trope also, interestingly enough, gave way to a lot of controversy, showing how expected roles can distort our view of right and wrong if the dynamic is familiar or culturally acceptable with certain predictable variables in place. ★★★★
Themes and Messages
A lot of themes within the K-drama are about finding your family and finding your people. There's a significant focus on being willing to open yourself up to others and being brave enough to step out with only the hope of being accepted.
There are also significant portions of the K-drama covering mental health, especially about how people who struggle deserve not to be dehumanized for simply existing or doing the best they can do; rather, it's dehumanizing actions that should be criticized.
I also love how the drama proposes learning how to lean on one another to become more human, even if it means you have to be okay and comfortable with exposing your and others' weaknesses. It's about learning how to be okay with weakness and realizing that weakness isn't a weakness if it means we can be strong together, thus the name of the drama: It's Okay to Not Be Okay.
One of my favourite lines from the drama is when the older brother, Moon Sang-tae, is watching a TV show in episode one,favourite where the characters have a conversation that expresses the core underlying themes of becoming more human perfectly, setting up the premise of the K-Drama :
"Even if you're not, you think and act like an orphan. You're ruthless, insecure, thoughtless, and empty-hearted. But I'm still going to love you. Do you know why? Because I decided to do so.”★★★★
Final Thoughts
“So don't forget any of it. Remember it all and overcome it. If you don't overcome it, you'll always be a kid whose soul never grows.” I really enjoyed this K-drama, but I wouldn't recommend it to those strictly looking for a romantic comedy because it carries with it an emotional mellowness and complexity that is heavy and very impactful at certain points. It's one of my favorite sorts of media that looks at the human condition honestly and doesn't make excuses or ignore humanity's capacity for harm, as well as showing the goodness that humanity in all of its complexity can bring. I would also caution those very sensitive to basic sorts of humor watching the show, as one of the main plot devices centers around physical connection and the aversion to physical connection. It has also been brought to my attention that the controversy surrounding one of the main actors in this drama; the situation is complex and I am unsure what to make of it myself, so please understand this review has taken no consideration of the actor's behaviour and the allegations of what they've done or haven't. This is merely a review of the drama, as I feel like I don't have enough understanding or information to make sense of the situation at present. Anyways, I give this drama 4 out of 5 stars.
Content Discretion:
Language, minor sexual jokes and themes, assault, trauma, mental health topics and conditions, murder, attempted murder, minor gruesomeness depicted.
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