Memoirs Of A Korean Queen by Lady Hong
As a young girl who only knew the pleasures of a loving family, relationship strain and breakdown were the ghosts hidden beside the passages of her account, the monsters her younger self couldn't have anticipated. When she is chosen as the wife for a young crown prince, she is merely sad to be cruelly stripped of her family and relatives and placed in walls of which she would never leave. This is Lady Hong's story, her intention for writing being for the benefit of her son, who doesn't know the real story of his father's death that is passed cunningly to him.
Artistry and Craft
I was recommended to read this memoir by an author I think highly of, June Hur, who excels at making mystery books set in the ancient Joseon Korean dynasty. This was after I read "A Crane Among Wolves" and wanted to learn more about the world which inspired her YA novel, as she pointed out that she had to do a lot of research for her standalone book, with one of her research materials being “The Memoirs of Lady Hong.” Based on my feelings towards her novel, A Crane Among Wolves, I knew that I had to immerse myself in this ancient memoir, no matter what. I was fortunate enough to be able to order in this book from a university to the one I attend, and thus my reading of Lady Hong's memoir began.
My enthusiasm and curiosity weren't in vain; rather, I was surprised by how heartbroken I would be after reading Lady Hong's recount of her time in the palace. I am thankful towards those who unearthed this memoir and recognized its importance as one that is raw and true, when so much history directly recorded from monarchs at that time and place in history is fully polished or edited.
But even though I am thankful, I am also heavy knowing this memoir was intended to be burned after her son read it as an explanation of the complexities of the truth of what happened, and to dissuade him from becoming embittered or resentful by rumors from those who were far away from the incident when it occurred or meant to mislead her child.
Because this book is written in hindsight, the book assumes that the intended reader knew the general history of what happened, and the tragic ending, just not the key details.The memoir is short and made up of three chapters, each with varying amounts of detail. The first chapter reads like an overall introduction and history into Lady Hong's family, upbringing, and how she came to the palace. The second is almost like a bit more detailed introduction that explores internal motivations, leading into the third where the tragedies start to be explored more heavily.
I hesitate to recommend this book by saying that somehow it's entertaining; I don't believe someone should say that about somebody's tragic, real-life experience. However, I was gripped every step of the way. Lady Hong's tragic memoir deserves more reverence than just to say that it was “gripping” or “entertaining,” as this is her story and deserves respect. That being said, I'd highly recommend this book for those who are interested in learning about Korean history, like to watch historical K-dramas, or want to read narratives that are complex.
The memoir itself was well-written, although sometimes hard to follow as someone who has not read deeply into pieces of Korean history before and as an English speaker. This, however, was just a hurdle I had to overcome in order to appreciate the memoir. I also had to learn how to keep up with Korean names, such as cities, buildings, or people.
I found It interesting that at one one point she said something to the affect of the current up and coming generation not being like hers. This made me think of how many generations after claim the same not just in Korea, but all over the world, as documented in other memoirs, quotes, news paper articles and such.
Themes and Messages
The themes of Lady Hong's memoir surround the casual dehumanization that takes place in the palace through culture, tradition, and relationships. The story that Lady Hong tells shows just how destructive small acts of dehumanization can become fatal to a relationship. It can range from small acts of coldness to slanderous and spiteful words, to verbal abuse, and can also be how we can make excuses for evil. Maybe that's why Jesus says in the Bible that saying "you fool" is like committing murder and is deserving of Gehenna. In a space without selfless love, it can feel hopeless, and I can only imagine just how horrifying it was to be in Lady Hong's position.
Because this was a memoir, there are themes the teller of the story may not have noticed, merely a standard for how she lived back then or how things were. One of these themes that stood out prominently to me was sexism and the way it controlled how she was treated and how she thought about others; it was very heartbreaking to read.
Lady Hong's recount is told from the perspective of internalized misogyny that stems from the culture's belief in Confucian values and the "correct order of things." This meant that often women and girls, including Lady Hong herself, were identified or valued by association with the men in their lives. This includes their husbands, sons, and other family members; their actions or value to their male family members were often what gave them worth. Just reading this made me feel suffocated.
The orientation of their lives, surrounded by and defined by males, was prominent in the way that at Lady Hong's first miscarriage she wasn't sad for the child itself or even herself, but was ashamed for disappointing her elders by "her own fault" in miscarrying. When she eventually conceived and gave birth successfully, it almost seemed to me that her only joy was in the security her child gave her.
There is also the message of how victims can easily become villains and vice versa. This is shown mostly in the royal family, especially with the king and crown prince.
This duality reminds me of hwo King david in the Paslms 1 remarks on the ways of the wicked and righteous, and knowing how he had been both. He had been a wicked man and a good one, a wicked king and a righteous one. The difference is remaining wicked and being content to walk the path of the wicked instead of repenting. Having been both, just as we have been both, this memoir explores a tragic example of this heart-wrenching part of the human condition.
Another key theme in this memoir is the concept of suffering:
“ I cannot understand the workings of heaven.”
Lady Hong's memoir states this bitterly and solemnly throughout her telling of her life story, wondering: What is the purpose in the suffering? In her husband's suffering? In her child's suffering?
This is one of the great questions of life. Why is there suffering? What purpose does it have? If there is a purpose to it, and oftentimes the only place we can look is to heaven for an answer, what is the purpose in this?
Final Thoughts
Overall, Lady Hong's memoir is a warning that is heartbreaking. It made me feel grief alongside her as she recounted her tragic story, relaying a simple message that seems to be a disease among the human race: “It is quite amazing how cruel, tough, and evil human beings can be.”
Content Discretion:
Mentions of divination and magic, mentions of shamanism, mentions of sexual perversity, death, mentions of rape, murder, miscarriage, cruelty, parental abuse, spousal battery.
That's all folks! If you enjoyed the review, feel free to share it and/or leave a comment below. I'd love to hear your perspective! Also just as a reminder, as always, for biographies an memoirs, I will not be giving this book a rating out of respect of the author. ❤❤❤
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